


10 Things I Hate About You

by odetojoshlers



Category: 5 Seconds of Summer (Band), One Direction (Band)
Genre: M/M, horrible fob references, im s o dumb, well i couldn't NOT add some niam i mean don't you know who i think i am?
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-09-29
Updated: 2014-10-02
Packaged: 2018-02-19 05:55:21
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,803
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2377271
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/odetojoshlers/pseuds/odetojoshlers
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In which new student Michael Clifford falls in love with Padua High School's most loved and innocent sophomore, Calum Irwin who cannot date until his big brother Ashton dates. </p><p>Also known as the one where Michael and Calum pay school bad boy Luke Hemmings to take Ashton out.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> Well hello, I did a thing. Well really, I kind of did a thing with a decent amount of direct quotes from the 90's movie 10 Things I Hate About You (a personal favorite..seriously, you should watch it because it's da bes, and Luke is the perfect Patrick Verona???!)

ASHTON

As a convertible sports car pulled up to Ashton at a stop light blasting Ariana Grande, Ashton groaned and rolled up his windows. It was a particularly warm day, and he wanted to enjoy his ride to school listening to some Fall Out Boy with the windows down. When he still heard those high pitched notes of the pop singer, he turned the volume way up, causing the girls in the car next to him look over in disgust.

"Nasty punk." one of them tried shouting over the noise of his music and closed windows, but he just gave them a cold glare. When the light turned green, he slammed the gas, launching off just to piss them off.

Ashton Irwin was a guy of few nice thoughts. And practically all of them were toward his best friend Hayley Williams. She had a fuzzy head of short light blue hair that was often worn in wavy curls, and a strange sense of style-- not that Ashton could judge, as he cut holes in most of his shirts.

If you weren't Hayley, then he could do without you.

As he arrived to school, he was immediately disgusted when seeing a poster for Padua High's 2015 prom. He ripped it down just as the girl had taped it up, and a complaint was ignored by Ashton.

He walked away and Hayley bounced over to him, hopping onto his back and squeezing him. He gave a chuckle, not even phased by the tiny amount of weight on his back. Seriously, Hayley was _tiny_.

"Goodmorning Ashton Fletcher, how is my favorite Australian today?" she asked, still on his back. Her bookbag was resting against the small of her back, and she adjusted the strap where it dug into Ashton's shoulder.

"Alright so far, how is my favorite American?" he asked, helping her down from his back. As he did, he noticed a pair of blue eyes on him from across the court yard, and he immediately sent a glare the guy's way. An amused eyebrow was raised his way, but Ashton payed the guy no mind.

"I'm fantastic, my boots finally came in the post today. I forgot how long it takes to ship Doc Martens from America, god it was a process." She chuckled, holding a leg out for Ashton to see. He hummed in approval, looking at the other shoe as well. "I like those pants, too, Hay." He said, giving her a little pat on the head just because she's so damn cute.

"They're leggings, Ash. They have all these designs on them, I just could not resist." she said, doing a twirl in them for Ashton. He smiled and looked at her crop top that was see through, and he tugged on the bottom of it where it rested well above her belly button.

"Isn't this a bit revealing for a plain day in high school?" he questioned, and she scoffed at him.

" _No,_ thats why there's a tank top under it. And also, I practically have no boobs so it's not like it matters anyway." she said, and Ashton just laughed and they made their way to class. He glanced at her [clothes](http://stealherstyle.net/wp-content/uploads/2014/06/hayley-williams-mesh-tee-outfit.jpg), then at his white tank top that had ASH X printed on it.

"By the way, Luke Hemmings was staring at you." She pointed out, as he put an arm across her shoulders. He towered over her, so she just snuggled up into his side like a fuzzy kitten.

"I know, I gave him a good glare." Ashton chuckled, and Hayley laughed along with him before they walked into the room.


	2. 1

MICHAEL

"Here you go Michael, your schedule and your locker number. A student will be here shortly to show you the school." the guidancecounselorsaid, handing Michael a few papers. 

"Okay, uh thanks." He said awkwardly, getting up and stumbling a bit before walking out of the room. After a few minutes of waiting, a guy with blonde hair showed up and asked if he was Michael.

"That's me." He confirmed with a smile, reaching a hand out for him to shake.

"I'mNiall, I'm going to show you around school." He said, and Michael nodded before they walked out to the courtyard.

"Okay, so here's how it goes. Over there you’ve got your group of basic beautiful people. Now listen. Unless they talk to you first, don’t bother."

Michael nodded along with furrowed eyebrows, and motioned for him to continue.

"To the left we have the group of coffee kids." They walk next to them and they flinch away, one guy hitting the other and spilling his coffee down himself.

_Whoa!_ one of them screeched, while the other glared at him, shouting _That wasCostaRican,butthead!_

"They're very edgy. Don't make any sudden movements around them."Niallwhispered as they stepped around them. Before he could say another word, Michael stopped in his tracks as he caught sight of a guy across the courtyard walking his way.

"Oh my god.." Michael suddenly gasped, staring. OnceNiallsaw what he was looking at, he rolled his eyes and tried to get Michael's attention again.

"What group is he in?" He asked, still watching the tan boy with dark hair walking with his arms around a stack of books. He was walking with a guy who was freakishly tall and had curly hair in a bandana.

"The _don’t even think about it_ group."Niallsaid, glancing over at an awed Michael before continuing.

"That’sCalum Irwin. A junior, like us."

"I burn, I pine, I perish!" Michael whispered, a small grin taking his face as they neared him. He ran a hand through his styled white and black hair as Niall talked.

"Of course you do. You know, he’s beautiful _and_ deep--Pure. His friend is Harry Styles."Niallsaid, and Michael glanced over at him, confused. When they were in ear shot, Michael caught part of their conversation and listened closely.

_ Yup, see, there’s a difference between like and love. Because I like my _ __ _ playstation, but I love my Gibson blues bass. _

_ But I love my Sketchers, _ his friend said.

_ That’s because you don’t have a blues bass, _ he explained, and a look of awe covered his friend's face.

_ Ohhh! _ Harry said with a smile.

"Listen, forget him. He's got an incredibly uptight father, and it’s a widely known fact that the Irwin brothers aren'tallowed to date." He said, and Michael sighed before nodding his head.

ASHTON

"Okay then. What did everyone think of The Sun Also Rises?" Mr. Morgan asked, and a lovestruck girl raised her hand to give an opinion.

"I loved it. It was sooo romantic." She sighed, giggling into her hand. Ashton scoffed, and spoke up, giving her an unimpressed look

"Romantic? _Hemingway?_  He was an abusive alcoholic misogynist who squandered half his life hanging around Picasso trying to nail his leftovers." The other students rolled their eyes, used to Ashton's comments and complaints in their senior English class. Zayn Malik, a popular, rich, and greaser looking hooligan sat up in his seat and chuckled over at Ashton in a cocky way.

"As opposed to a bitter self-righteous fag who has no friends?" he asked, and giggled erupted from the students. Ashton was fuming in his seat, but didn't turn around to face Zayn. 

"I guess in this society, simply being male and an asshole makes you worthy of our time. What about Sylvia Platt or Charlotte Bronte or Simone de Beauvoir?" he asked, but Zayn began making a stupid comment about him being a male feminist before Luke Hemmings stepped in late to class.

"What’d I miss?" he asked, book bag hanging off his shoulder. Ashton took one look at him before sitting upright in his chair, arms crossed.

"The oppressive patriarchal values that dictate our education." He said, and Luke nodded to himself.

"Good." He said, and immediately turned to leave.

"Hey, hey!" Mr. Morgan shouted after him, but Zayn interrupted yet again.

"Uh, Mr. Morgan, is there any chance we could get Ashton take his Mydol _before_ he comes to class?" More snickers sounded around the class, but Ashton just flipped him off. He was used to Zayn's jokes, he had been calling Ashton a girl and a useless feminist for years now.

"Some day you’re gonna get bitch-slapped, and I’m not gonna do a thing to stop it." Mr. Morgan said, and Zayn looked down at his lap, embarrassed. Ashton held in a laugh, and Zayn glared at him.

"Anything else?" Ashton asked Mr. Morgan.

"Yeah. Go to the office, you’re pissing me off." he said.

"What? Mr. Morgan!" he protested, appauled. The teacher just looked back at Ashton, raising a hand in dismissal.

"Layta!" He said, and Ashton glared at his back. He picked up his books and grimaced as Hayley gave him an understanding look when he passed her. Zayns snickers were pissing Ashton off, so he hit him in the face with his books as he passed. Hayley erupted in loud laughter, while Ashton just grinned to himself and walked out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you enjoyed this, feel free to let me know! *nervous face*


	3. 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> psssssst. click the links on the words when they come up. :) trust me!

_**OMNISCIENT POV** _

"Virgin alert. Your favorite." Louis Tomlinson said, pointing Calum out to Zayn, who turned to look at the boy as he walked past with Harry. The two notice Zayn staring, and giggle before continuing on.

"Looking good, lads." He smirked, and gave Calum a little wink. He looked flustered for a second before playing it off and walking away. Zayn smirked when noticing his reaction, and Louis spoke up.

"He's outta reach, even for you."

"No one’s out of reach for me." Zayn replied, glaring at Louis.

"You wanna put money on that?" Louis asked, eyebrows raised.

"Money I’ve got. This I’m going to do for fun." He said, checking out Calum's butt as he walked away.

 

_**MICHAEL** _

Across the courtyard, Niall and Michael watched as Zayn stared at Calum's butt, and Michael turned to Niall in disgust.

"Who’s that guy?" he asked, and Niall gave a disgusted look.

"That’s Zayn Malik. He’s a jerkoff. And a model."

"He’s a model?" Michael laughed.  
  
"Yeah, a model. Mostly regional stuff. But he’s rumored to have a tube sock ad coming out." Niall snickered. 

"Really?"

"Really." They laughed loudly at the teasing for a moment, before Michael turned back to staring.

"Man, look at him." Michael sighs, watching Calum again. The blonde scoffed and looked back to Michael.

"Is he always so...vapid?" Niall asked. Michael gave him a shocked look, hurt.

"How can you say that? He’s totally--"

"--Conceited?" Niall offered.

"W-What are you talking about?! There’s more to him than you think. I mean, look... look at the way he smiles. And look at his eyes, man. He’s totally pure. I mean, you’re missing what’s there." He insisted, but Niall was unimpressed with his response.

" _No_ , Michael. No. What’s there is a snotty little Prince wearing a strategically planned skin tight jeans to make guys like us realize we can never touch him, and guys like, uh..." he looked around for an example and notices Zayn making his way toward Calum.

"...Guys like  _Zayn Malik_  realize they  _want_  to. He, my friend, is what we’ll spend the rest of our lives not having. Put him in the Spank Bank. Move on." He said, and Michael made a face.

"No."

"Move on." Niall said again.

"No! You’re wrong about him. I mean, you know, uh, not about the spanking part. But the  _rest_. You’re wrong." Niall raised his eyebrows.

 "Alright. I’m wrong? You wanna take a shot? Be my guest. He’s actually looking for a French tutor."

"Are you serious? That’s perfect!"

"Do you speak French?" Niall asked with raised eyebrows.

"Well _no._. But I will." He laughed, fist pumping the air.

 

_**OMNISCIENT POV** _

["I know you can be  _over_ whelmed...And you can be  _under_ whelmed...But can you ever just be  _whelmed_?"](http://blogs.kqed.org/pop/files/2013/11/tumblr_mvvzhbIaH51qmyap9o4_500.gif) Harry asked, and Calum shrugged before putting on a thoughtful expression.

"I think you can in Europe." He said, before Zayn's sports car pulled up, offering them a ride with loud R&B music coming from the fancy car.

 

"That’s a charming new development." Hayley said sarcastically from inside Ashton's car. Ashton watched his brother drive away with Zayn Malik, and glared at the steering wheel.

"It’s disgusting." He said, and went to pull out of the parking lot but almost hit Niall, who was on his street bike. He slammed the brakes, causing Niall's eyes to widen as he stopped in front of the car.

"Remove head from sphincter, then drive!" Ashton shouted out his window, and turned up the stereo so Fall Out Boy's  _Thnks Fr Th Mmrs_  played over the noise of students in the parking lot. 

Niall grimaces and pulls over to where Michael was watching at the sidewalk.

"You all right?" Michael asks with raised eyebrows, and Niall makes a face.

"Yeah, yeah. Just a minor encounter with the shrew. That's your boyfriend’s brother." He said, pointing over lazily.

"What? That's Calum's brother?" Michael asked, instead of mumbling out a  _he's not my boyfriend._

"Mmm hmm. The mewling, rampalian wretch himself. Stay cool, bro. I have to go pick up my boyfriend Liam from the front of the school."

Michael just nodded and looked over to Ashton's car, seeing him laughing along as the blue headed girl danced around in the passenger seat with a water bottle as a microphone. He heard her singing along to the song playing and he noted that she wasn't really bad, at all.

 

 

**_ASHTON_ **

"Hello, Ashton. Make anyone cry today?" Ashton's father asked jokingly, and Ashton closed the book he was reading to look up and put on a fake smile.

"Sadly, no. But it's only four-thirty!" He joked back. Calum walked into the house at that moment, and walked past their father to plop on the couch next to Ashton.

"Hi daddy." He said cheerily, and Ashton grimaced and tried to scoot further away from his younger brother.

"Hey, bud." He responded, before Ashton suddenly turned to his brother and glared.

"And where have you been?" This received a dirty look from Calum, who shrugged.

"Nowhere." He said, and Ashton smiled sweetly at him.

"Nowhere? Dad, ask Calum who drove him home."

"Ashton don't be rude to your--drove? Who  _drove_  you home?" He asked, panicked. Calum quickly sat up and gave Ashton another dirty look.

"Now don't be upset daddy, but there's this  _boy_ \--"

"--Who's a flaming imbecile." Ashton cut in, with an eye roll.

"-- _And I think he might ask me_ -" Calum continued to talk over Ashton, but his father cut in this time.

"I think I know what he's going to ask you! And I think I know the answer:  _No!_  What are the house rules, Calum?" he asked, and held up his fingers to count. "Number one: No dating until you graduate...number two:  _No dating until you graduate._  That's it." he gave Calum a stern look, and he just pouted at his father.

"Daddy, that's so unfair! Can we focus on me for a minute? I'm the only boy in school who's not dating!" He whined, and his father just shook his head.

"No you're not, your brother's not dating." He smiled cheerily, pointing to the curly haired boy next to Calum.

"And I don't intend to." Ashton said, opening his book again.

"And why is that again?" His dad asked, pleased and expecting Ashton to justify him.

"Have you  _seen_  the unwashed miscreants that go to that school?" Ashton asked with a disgusted expression. Calum scoffed, throwing his hands up and letting out a groan.

"Where did you come from? Planet _loser_?!" He shouts, and Ashton just smiles sweetly again.

["As opposed to planet  _look at me, look at me!_ "](http://img.pandawhale.com/84485-planet-loser-planet-look-at-me-9WcL.gif) he fans himself for effect.

"Okay, okay! I know how we can solve this one, boys! Old rule out. New rule: Calum can date.." he pauses, and watches as Calum perks up and Ashton looks angry.

".. _When Ashton does._ " he finished, leaving the brothers to switch facial expressions.

"But he's a mutant, what if he never dates?!" Calum shouts, gesturing wildly to Ashton.

"Then you'll never date! Ohhhh, I like this one. I've got to go boys, I'm needed at the hospital." He says, and heads for the door. Ashton grabs his book and heads for his room, but Calum stops him.

"Can't you find a sad enough idiot to take you to the movies, so I can have just  _one_  date?" He shouted at Ashton, fuming. Ashton just rolls his eyes and continues his walk up the stairs.

"I'm sorry, looks like you'll just have to miss out on the witty repartee of Zayn _"eat me"_  Malik." He said, waving a hand over his shoulder at his brother.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologize for any spelling mistakes, I'm sure there are some in there. It's 2 am, and I'm so tired and I don't feel like searching out any mistakes. Please let me know if you enjoyed, thank you very much! :)

**Author's Note:**

> Did you make it out? Yeah if you did you should comment because lashton/malum?  
> ps- you can find my tumblr > niamsclifford.tumblr.com :)


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